Keeping the Spirit at Dinner Time

I just returned from a trip to AZ, all by myself!  For Christmas my husband gave me a trip to visit my family around my birthday without children.  It was  such a wonderful time to recharge.  At first I felt some guilt at being there without them, but then I focused on making the most of it.  I visited the temple, visited family and friends, enjoyed time with my parents, did some family history work, enjoyed sleeping in, and only having to clean up after myself.

I returned yesterday afternoon after making the long drive home.  I had stayed the night in Cedar City to break up the drive and because there was a store, but I really had not slept well at the hotel.  I was glad to be done driving, but not really ready to jump back into motherhood.

Rob had done a great job at tidying the house and doing laundry so that it was not overwhelming to come back to.  Still, I had brought back quite a few things from AZ that cluttered the home and needed putting away along with jumping back in with two feet with meal prep, clean-up, laundry, and home-schooling.  Why does it always take me longer to get back in my groove after a trip than I was even on the trip?

Today my day was productive.  I had fed my children, done schooling, enjoyed reading books to the little ones, and done some cleaning up.  But my home was still a mess and there were still things for me to sort through.  Then I discovered that some how my laptop was reset while I was gone and everything lost.  (Hopefully I can find out it is somewhere.)  My spirit sunk and the messy house and needs of the children seemed to drag on me.

It was time to figure out what was for dinner and I hate cooking in a messy kitchen.  I started to feel overwhelmed, when I decided, or perhaps was prompted, to sit down and read books with my two girls who were begging for more attention.  So we sat down and read.  It felt so go to stop thinking about what was for dinner and the anxiety that seemed to be coming with it.  After reading about 3 books my mind seemed to clear up and I decided we were going to do leftovers.  I decided that a happy wife was more important than a fresh dinner.  So I focused on cleaning off the table and some more counterspace.  I warmed up leftover rice, corn, taco meat, and sausage.  The kids loved it and even though we had no vegetable, everyone was happy.

Clean up was easy and I was able to attack a few more things to that needed sorted.  I was able to put more energy into our bedtime routine and have the peace I needed.  I will get to the rest of the clean-up tomorrow.  And if not, Friday will come and we do a deep cleaning on those days. 

How grateful I am for the spirit who helped me to clear my mind and not feed the anxiety.

Fear in the Night - Prayer in the Night

Do you ever wake up in the night and find your mind filled with fear about something you can do nothing about or something that most likely isn't real?  I do.

Last night I woke up and had to use the bathroom.  I got up and when I opened the door to leave my bedroom I thought I smelled gas!  We have a natural gas fireplace that heats our home, and even thought we have natural gas detectors in the home, I still always fear that something will happen.  So I walked around the house smelling it to see if it was my mind or real.  (This has happened to me before, and it was nothing.) 

I then went to check on my baby.  The night before she had been crabby and up a lot.  Tonight she was sleeping soundly again and I started to worry that if she had struggled to breath I did not hear her!  But if she was sleeping well, I did not want to wake her up by checking on her, so I decided to leave her be. 

After using the bathroom I went back to my room and crawled in bed.  My mind was racing and I was worried.  I was so tired and wanted to sleep, I needed to sleep!  I knew that if I kept entertaining the thoughts in my mind I would never fall back to sleep, speaking from experience.  I also knew that fear was probably driving my thoughts.  So I said a silent prayer, asking Heavenly Father to help me to either go to sleep if there was no need to fear, or to be prompted to get up and act if the need was really there.  The fear left me as I worked to replace it with faith!  I fell asleep so quickly and when I woke in the morning everything was just fine.

Too often I worry about unnecessary things.  I waste my energy on this fear or worry, which takes it away from areas of real importance.  I learned a valuable lesson last night, to turn to my Father in Heaven for direction, especially when I find myself afraid.  Hopefully I can be more quick to turn to prayer in all matters of my daily life so I can put my energy in those things that matter most.

Geminid Meteor Shower - Family Sighting

I want to be better at documenting each day adn the joy I am finding in Motherhood.  Motherhood is not always easy or enjoyable, but it is so worth those beautiful moments.

Today while on Facebook, where I probably spend too much time when I am feeling lazy, I learned that there would be the Geminid meteor shower.  I was excited to share this with my family.  Since homeschooling, I feel I take more opportunities to learn with my children and explore God's creations.  We don't have a "school" schedule to tell us what to do, if we want to stay up late looking at the stars, we can!

I was quite disappointed when I was driving home from Annie's dance to see that it was cloudy and overcast.  I checked the hourly forecast and it said that by 9 it would be clear skies again.  That was the time we were planning to go out.  We went out at 9 and it was not clear skies, but there were little patches of stars so I started to watch.  I had warmed up hot cocoa for everyone in hopes of a successful watch.  I quickly saw a meteor and told the kids who were still inside getting suited up.  They came out and because it was overcast were really disappointed.  Since our viewing window was so small I knew we were missing out on so many and Matthew and Kaitlynn were getting quite disappointed.  I prayed the clouds would leave and even told them to scatter, out loud. :)  Matthew kept asking to go back inside, but did not want to go in by himself because he did not want to miss out, so he wanted everyone to go inside.  For some reason, I kept waiting.  I finally went inside and grabbed a few blankets so we could lay on the ground.  Soon the clouds cleared away and most of the sky was open to us.  We shifted our view towards the west, where Rob had seen a few that we missed. 

Then we all saw one together.  It was so exciting to be there with my children as they witnessed their first meteor sighting.  It did not take long for us to see another, then another.  Each time the excitement was there and I found myself getting emotional.  Science has never drawn me in, but watching that meteor shower reminded me of the awe I felt as I watch the solar eclipses earlier this year.  It was beautiful and majestic and inspiring!  We were all laughing with the excitement of it all.  The kids finally were tired enough that they wanted to get in bed and get warmer.  Next time I will be better prepared with chairs and hand warmers. :)  I sure love going outside and seeing the stars here in the country.  I am grateful for a beautiful family to share these moments with.  It wasn't near as exciting once they all went in to spot the meteors, but I did appreciate a few moments to thank God for the moment and his wonderful creation.

A Bunch of Carnival Prizes

One afternoon I took my 4 young children to a free carnival activity sponsored by the local hospital as a thank you to the community for their support.  My husband was busy working, so I was a little nervous as to how it would go.  We enjoyed good food, fun entertainment and rides, and lots of fun games with simple prizes.  Everyone had a great time and our tiny baby slept great to add to the enjoyment. 

After a few hours it was time to head out, as the event was over and we had stayed much longer than I had planned.  I loaded the kids into the car and buckled everyone up.  As I was pulling out of our parking spot I could hear my children talking about their prizes.  As they showed their prizes to each other, I started to hear my children talk about what prize they would like to get next time that another sibling had and they did not.   I called back to my kids and reminded them to be grateful for the toys that they did get!  And then in my mind I thought, “Why do they really care?  These are such cheap prizes that will probably end up in the trash before a week is over!” 

As soon as I said and thought these words, another thought came to my mind reminding me that I too needed to remember these words in my own life.  I too needed to remember to be grateful for what I had and not just look around hoping for a different “prize” next time.  Then as I continue to ponder this thought, that I was sure the Spirit was teaching me, another thought came, “Just like these cheap carnival toys will be broken and thrown out by the end of a week, all the material things we have here will be thrown out when we leave this life!”  Wow, that really hit me!  The value my children were placing on their toys was great, but when I looked at them I knew they really had no worth in the long run.  Similarly, I tend to place great value on so many material things in this life, but my Heavenly Father has taught me, and continues to teach me, that they are of no worth in the long run. 

Only a few days later I caught myself thinking about something I wish I had that someone else had.  I was able to remind myself that all these things are just “carnival prizes” and hold no value in the long run!  My heart was softened and my disappointment at not having the missing item was gone!   Now when I see someone with something I wish I had I just think, “carnival prizes, it’s all just a bunch of carnival prizes.”

Those little carnival toys my children received actually did not all make it to the trash by a week’s end.  They are broken and not fit for playing with any more, but I held onto a few of them, to help me remember this wonderful learning experience I had with them.  Although my kids keep finding them and walking off with them again. :)  I know we need to take care of the things we do have, but I have learned that I need to make sure I am spending my time, talents, and resources on those things that matter most in this life and the eternities.